I think I might have to rethink my options a little.
a slight incident yesterday reminded me of the need to step back from where i'm headed and take in the Big Picture. we have issues from religion, to me keeping my maiden name, to how we want to raise our children, where we will live and settle. not to mention the smaller things like how i would like a bed and he prefers a futon. oh, and he doesnt want a TV set in the house.
i always thought i knew where i was going with all of this. i put up with some very tough times to get to where i am today. for some reason i'm not so sure about the future anymore.
maybe it's what's been happening at home of late. maybe it's the fear of not being there when people need me, or because i'm exhausted from looking on the brighter side all the time. i can no longer keep giving without getting something concrete in return. and it just doesnt seem right for me to sacrifice the rest of my years, along with my responsibilities, for something that i try very hard to earn but may never get.
i now realise it's not about the time or distance. love does not always save the day because there are mountains that can never be moved, and people that wont ever change.
a slight incident yesterday reminded me of the need to step back from where i'm headed and take in the Big Picture. we have issues from religion, to me keeping my maiden name, to how we want to raise our children, where we will live and settle. not to mention the smaller things like how i would like a bed and he prefers a futon. oh, and he doesnt want a TV set in the house.
i always thought i knew where i was going with all of this. i put up with some very tough times to get to where i am today. for some reason i'm not so sure about the future anymore.
maybe it's what's been happening at home of late. maybe it's the fear of not being there when people need me, or because i'm exhausted from looking on the brighter side all the time. i can no longer keep giving without getting something concrete in return. and it just doesnt seem right for me to sacrifice the rest of my years, along with my responsibilities, for something that i try very hard to earn but may never get.
i now realise it's not about the time or distance. love does not always save the day because there are mountains that can never be moved, and people that wont ever change.
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