おばーへ

Went to the hospital to visit my cousin's grandmother today.

her condition took a turn for the worse and she had to be put on dialysis. it's worrying because there's only so much her frail body can take, and the risk of further complications is very apparent.

i am constantly reminded of how transient life is and how fragile people actually are. last week, sam's mom was warded for a spinal cord operation and jac lost her grandmother.

it's hard keeping your own emotions in check when you're faced with people who are dealing with the loss or suffering of a loved one. for me, it always triggers the memory of the time when ken's grandmother passed away. it was especially painful because he was living in singapore then, and we couldnt manage to get ken to her side in time.

i was woken up one weekday morning at 6am by a phonecall from ken, who had been putting in the night shift at work when his mom had called to say that his grandmother had collapsed at home. they rushed her to the hospital but she had deteriorated so badly by then that she didnt even manage to regain consciousness.

i remember rushing to the airport so that i could get ken on the next flight out. everything was full so in the end he had to fly via seoul to okinawa. just when we were about to leave the ticketing counter, his mom called to say that his grandma didnt make it. i dont think i'll ever forget ken's reaction for the rest of my life. in my years of knowing him i have never seen him cry, but he literally fell apart at the news. letting him take the flight home alone was one of the hardest things i ever had to do.

ken loved his grandma and was very close to her because she took him in when he was a wayward youth who didnt believe in going to university. i think ken feels that he owed everything to his grandma and her "tough love" policy. he tells me she was very critically injured in a road accident once, but miraculously she survived, except for her muddled cooking skills that saw her come up with an endless slew of near-inedible dishes after her recovery.

ken said his was the only grandma with nine lives. until this day, not having ken see おばー for the last time remains one of my biggest regrets in life.