How Japanese Are You?

A Test for Foreigners Living in Japan
(taken from Courrier Japon, February 2008)

("Yes" means you're guilty like the rest of us. My answers are in brackets [ ].)

1. You bow involuntarily while talking on the phone. (YES. My ex-boss made a joke out of watching me bob my head up and down during a telephone conversation with our GM.)

2. You bow even when those tiny men on ATM screens bow at you. (No. Please, I haven't even seen those bowing machines in my life.)

3. You buy individually packaged potatoes while at the supermarket. (Nope. I buy grown-in-China potatoes, pesticides or no. They are cheaper.)

4. You're in a Japanese countryside and there doesn't seem to be power supply for miles. Still, you hardly bat an eyelid when you come across a vending machine selling canned drinks in between paddy fields. (Yes. Don't the rice farmers use them during the day when they get thirsty?)

5. You think eating curry rice constitutes a complete meal. (Yes. It's got carbos, proteins, and those itsy-bitsy pieces of potatoes and carrots are more than necessary to meet my daily dietary needs right?)

6. You think nothing of having potato and strawberry sandwiches for lunch. (No. You mean they make those type of sandwiches in Japan?)

7. You make it a point to kick up a big fuss when you see people pour miso soup over their rice but you're guilty of the same thing when in the comfort of your own home. (No. I've never tried pouring miso soup over Japanese rice. Really.)

8. You think cod roe spaghetti is typical Italian fare. (Yes. I still get upset when I cannot find mentaiko pasta on the menu at Da Paolo's.)

9. You get excited at the sight of a sailor uniform. (No. Thank goodness.)

10. You don't think it's weird when large trucks start blaring the tune to "Lambada" or "It's a Small World" when reversing. (Yes! I also like it when trucks and vans play the theme song of "Godfather" in place of horns!)

11. You argue about why a traffic light is called 青信号 and not 緑信号 in Japanese. (Yes! But I realised sometimes the Japanese don't differentiate between green and blue. And besides, ミドリシンゴウ is such a mouthful.)

12. You tend to say 「頑張ります」all the time, no matter how insignificant the task at hand may be. (YES. There's a reason why every non-Japanese speaker knows how to say 「頑張ってね～」.

13. You tend to apologise an average of three times when talking to people. (Yes! Yes! I even do it when I speak in English.)

14. You can rattle off important dates in your life according to the Showa and Heisei calendars. (Yes. I was born in 昭和55, completed my studies in Okinawa in 平成15 and am returning to Japan again in 平成20. Ta-dah!)

15. You can't help but flash the peace sign when having your picture taken. (Enough said.)

16. You keep asking your friends what blood type they are. (No. But I'm convinced people with A+ blood type are sticklers for cleanliness.)

17. When negotiating your way through crowds, you mimic the motion of karate chops with your hands while bobbing your head up and down. (Yes. This is getting really bad.)

18. You're thinking that the questions in this test are really nothing to crow about. (No. Does it mean there's still hope for me??)