A huge typhoon's about to hit Okinawa I think. The rain's beating down mercilessly as I write this, so chances are the trip to an offshore island that Ken and I planned for this weekend would probably be fried. Bummer.
i'd better blog about what happened over the weekend lest i let self-comforting thoughts get the better of me in a couple of days. it always happens, especially when particularly bad shit hits the fan. sometimes i wonder if it isnt some weird mechanism designed to keep me wired to things that hurt the most.
anyway, i recently realised with shock and horror that i have almost nothing physical to my name here in okinawa. i live in ken's apartment (my name is not registered because we're not married), i drive his mom's car and i have only 4,000 sing dollars in savings. my family's not with me, and neither are most of my closest friends.
what would i do if my relationship expires on me? i would literally be forced to push my suitcases out on the streets.
possibly a kind-hearted soul would take me in while i try to pick up the pieces of my life, but the horror that i am now dependent on another person for basic things like transport and shelter made me very very uncertain.
in clearer language, it makes walking away from ken (if the need arises in future, i dunno) a lot harder to do.
ashamed as i am to say it, i started crying and couldnt stop. when the tears eventually ran out, i took my red-rimmed self and a mortified ken to dinner.
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